Okay. So I’m still in Texas. That’s the situation. Do I want
to be in Texas? No. My heart and I want to be in Budapest, teaching, serving,
and working as a missionary full time. God had brought me this far, and I was
waiting on His provision to get me all the way there. But it didn’t happen with
the timing that I thought was right. The money didn’t come.
In my personal walk
with God I began to get very frustrated. I kept crying out to God saying, ‘God,
I’m ready to go! I want to go! Why isn’t the money coming in? Why aren’t things
going the way I want them to go?” I kept crying out to Him, sometimes just
crying, and asking why. The response was and continues to be, “not yet”. While
I was fundraising I was tuning out of what that voice was saying, and I was
hoping that it would all work out. But there was one night where God caught me in
the silence and I couldn’t tune out that voice any longer. I tried. But it was
too loud for me to ignore any longer. “Not yet”. And when I asked and cried and
said “God I’m trying to serve you, what do you mean not yet? What do you mean not now?” He said, “I am.” There it was.
“I am. The maker of the heavens, the bright and morning star, the One who
calmed the seas, the One who always was and is to come. I am. Beginning and the
end, I am.”
And I had my answer. He has the perfect timing. He has the perfect
opportunity. He knows my life and my story and what is supposed to happen. I
don’t have to worry that I’ve failed or I’ve not done what He asked. He asked
me to go and I said yes. He isn't saying no. He's saying not yet. I just have to wait a little while longer.
While at Teach Beyond this summer, I learned about an
amazing opportunity. Teach Beyond has a program that goes into national schools
and teaches English. If I wait for next fall, I could go and teach in Budapest
in a national school. I would be paid, I would have very little support to
raise. That is what gets me excited every day. I know that God has called
me to Budapest, and I know that I am passionate about working in a national
school. I would have loved working for a private Christian School there this
fall, but I will be completely obedient to God and what His call is. He is
saying, “not yet” and so I will boldly speak with others about what He wants me
to do and I will boldly walk forward next year and follow Him and His
instructions. I will use this time to lean on His promises and prepare myself
for next year.
